just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
