I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
