I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
