is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
