If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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