Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
