i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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