White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
