We won't sleep together?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
