I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
