You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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