how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
