is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
