somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
