I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
