I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
