Where is the hickey?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
