Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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