im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
