Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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