i permit you to call me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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