How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
