Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
