Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
