C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
