dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
should my penis look like a turkey
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
