Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
