You work out of a Hotel?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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