my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
