honey bunches of taint.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize