I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
