Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
