I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
