Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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