The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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