I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
