From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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