Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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