I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
