If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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