it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
