Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
