The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
