your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
