its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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