Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
