he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
