I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No stitches, just platelets and will power
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
