I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to make out with him forever
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
