sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
