we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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