Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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