and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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