i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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